When considering wand vibrators, all I wanted was something quiet and strong. I managed to get it right on my first try with the Com wand from Dame, which is nearly silent behind closed doors while packing a powerful punch. When I’m in the mood for a more fantastical vibrator, beautiful wand toppers from Strange Bedfellas transform it into a fantasy toy both visually and texturally.
Design & Specs – Dame Com Wand
The Sex Shed, run by the writers behind the Spices of Lust blog, carries a great selection of high-quality mainstream toys, particularly vibrators. Their curated categories, such as hands-free sex toys and toys for trans or gender-diverse folks, help connect customers with products that will suit their needs and tastes. They provided the Dame Com wand for this review.
While the brand Dame is focused on creating products by and for women (the name itself isn’t subtle), I personally appreciate that their product design and marketing isn’t as hyper-gendered as some sex toys out there. As a nonbinary trans man, I don’t feel as awkward buying their products as I do some other brands. The color selection on the Com could have a little more variety—quartz and periwinkle are tasteful, but just a few shades away from the ubiquitous pink and purple—but some of their products are available in less common colors like papaya orange or citrus green.
The Dame Com wand vibrator comes in two colors: Quartz (pale pink) and Periwinkle (light purplish blue). Mine is Periwinkle. It arrived with a bold blue bag, sticker, instruction booklet, and a white charging cord.
The head is 6″ circumference/1.8″ diameter and 2″ long. This is smaller than a classic wand and is compatible with most or all wand toppers whose internal/insert size is 1.8″ diameter or a little smaller (like the small insert toppers from Strange Bedfellas). The head is slightly flexible.
Like many vibrators, the charger has a USB connection on one side and a pair of magnets to connect to the vibrator. The magnetic region on the vibrator is indented, which keeps the charging cord in place where it’s connected to the vibe, unlike most magnetic cords which disconnect really easily if you accidentally move the vibe or put it in the wrong position.
There is one button which can be held to turn it on/off or tapped to switch the pattern, plus up and down buttons for the intensity. The buttons are easy to feel, easy to press, and easy to remember which one is which.
Volume-wise, the first four intensity levels are silent behind a closed door. The fifth is near silent. Put on a fan and you’re golden. However, there is a buzz sometimes if I don’t have it pressed against my body, which is more pronounced on stronger levels, so on levels 3-5, I am mindful of this if someone else is in the house and try to ensure it’s pressed against myself. I’m pretty sure it’s quieter than my Snug Plug, which was previously my most quiet vibrator.
It can be held with one or two hands. Using two hands makes it easier to add pressure and prevent the buzz. There is a little bit of vibration transfer to my hands, but way less than holding a strong bullet vibe, and I never feel it in my knuckles.
The Dame Com retails for $119. The Sex Shed runs regular sales and currently has an 11% discount code that will pop up. Other retailers may have regular or seasonal sales that also discount the price.
Design & Specs – SBF Wand Toppers
Strange Bedfellas hosts a lineup of friendly monsters looking for a good time, and the creativity and variety in their designs make them a staple in my own collection. Their body-safe fantasy sex toys are some of the most affordable out there, so I highly recommend them as a starting point for those new to fantasy toys. I’ve already reviewed their Batou and could recommend any of the other toys I have from them.
Strange Bedfellas produces fantasy wand toppers: Silicone sheaths designed to be placed on top of the head of a wand vibrator for a textured experience, kind of like vibrating grinders. The “large insert” ones have a hole large enough to put them on the Rechargeable Magic Wand, while the “small insert” ones fit on smaller wands (including the Com). They’re the same size externally, so the small insert toppers have thicker walls which may dull vibrations.
I have a Z Topper in medium firmness 00-50 which I ordered from inventory. It’s squishy, but not plush. It’s a marble of dark blue, pink, blue, and copper. The Z Topper is based on nonbinary demon Ziq and has a lot of detailed texture.
My C Topper is in soft firmness 00-30, making it nice and soft. I requested a “pastel surprise” friend request (semi-custom) and the outcome is a gorgeous combination of translucent pastel blue and pink with opaque white or off-white. The C Topper is based on nudibranch gal Ceela and features rounded nub texture which opens up to a rounded, large clit-like tip.
Both toppers fit the Dame Com wand easily. They’re easy to pop on and off without adding any lube, which means less cleanup for me. They fit mostly snugly and do not shift much during play. They make the wand feel notably heavier and I am not sure how much strain that puts on the neck of the wand, but it’s not that heavy.
I do not recommend storing the toppers with/on the vibrator itself. There’s a big disparity between the soft firmness of the toppers and the much more firm firmness of the wand, which could result in silicone oil transfer between the toppers and the wand and could make the wand’s silicone coating swell. However, this shouldn’t happen unless they are stored together for days/weeks on end, so the duration of even extended playtime should have no impact.
I ordered a couple of other toys at the same time as the toppers, so I received those in the same package along with a bunch of stickers, a character postcard, and a couple of lube packets from upcoming indie fantasy shop Frisky Fox.
Z Toppers start at $35 and C Toppers start at $45.
In Use – Just the Wand
Broad vibrations haven’t really worked for me in the past when it comes to clitoral use. I’ll be honest: If I’m not really feeling it, the Com doesn’t do anything for me, especially at lower levels. Pinpoint stimulation is what works best for me, and my Satisfyer Pro 3+ and bullet vibes are excellent fits whether I’m warmed up or not.
When I am feeling it, Dame Com is pretty good, especially if I want something that’s not going to overwhelm me. While bullet vibrators are really good at getting me to the edge quickly, I find that Com is good at supporting existing arousal and guiding me where I want to go. Kind of like the difference between a punch and a massage.
Although I can feel the vibrations through thin pajama pants or underwear, the dryness is uncomfortable; I need lube.
Positioning-wise, the wand is extremely easy to hold and I can naturally use it at a ton of different angles. Putting it against my clit, it gets decent skin coverage, though I tend to find the wand going to one side or the other (as is the case with most of my vibes, considering they’re not necessarily designed for t-dicks). I enjoy it along the underside of my clit and going down to my hole, since that area has a lot of sensitive spots.
On the standard setting, levels 1-2 don’t do much for me. 3 is alright. 4 is when I say “wow, wands might actually work for me,” and sometimes 5 is too strong. It pairs really well with riding a dildo at the same time, since the vibration style is more supportive rather than the star of the show. Considering that it’s a wand and naturally has a larger tip than most vibes, it may bump against the dildo, but I find this has little to no impact on how I play.
With vibration patterns, I like to hold it in place and ride out the feeling. Four of the patterns are uninterrupted, so they’ll go up and down or tap away on a cycle without fully stopping. It really enhances the strength when they rise up from gentle to strong. The drawback is they drop down pretty quickly, so there’s no time to savor it at full power before it dips down. I’d call them somewhere between okay and pretty good. One of the patterns fully stops between vibrations, which is honestly the style that initially made me think I hated patterns, so I’m glad it’s just the one of them and I can enjoy the rest.
In Use – Wand with Toppers
The Wand Toppers from Strange Bedfellas are easy to slip on and add texture for grinding and a different experience with the vibrations. With the thickness of them, they mute the vibrations a little bit, but not a huge amount.
The Z Topper has nice grooves and folds to grind against. In medium firmness, it’s not nearly as overwhelming as I worried it could be, and it’s pretty nice. Despite some textured parts ending in pointed tips, they don’t focus the vibrations that well. This one is truly “wand + texture” in that it feels very similar to the wand itself, just with added texture. Personally, I’d rather see the Z Topper texture on a grinder rather than a wand topper.
The C Topper has a rounded tip which focuses the vibrations. It’s not quite pinpoint, but it’s an improvement over the broader vibrations I’m getting otherwise. The textured slit on top is very nice; the tiny frills to either side of the slit are small, defined texture that I love to rub against. The nubs all around make for a lovely bumpy texture that’s very satisfying and luxurious to rub against, not pokey or intense but soothing without being too soft. Soft firmness is very good for the texture on the C Topper, but may contribute to more softening of the vibrations. The C Topper is pretty good as a wand topper, and the texture would make for a nice standalone grinder.
Speaking of use as standalone grinders, it’s possible to use the toppers in that way. The insert holes are easy to put my fingers into to hold onto the toppers while rubbing against myself.
Overall
The Dame Com wand vibrator is an excellent choice for anyone seeking a vibe that’s both strong and whisper-quiet. I personally have difficulty feeling much from broad-headed vibrators and favor ones with focused tips, but this one is strong enough to make me feel something and is enjoyable to lean back and relax. Plus, it’s easy to hold at so many angles. It’s luxurious and enjoyable, although I admit I normally need to finish myself off with a different vibe or rubbing myself, since broad vibrations don’t always do it for me.
It pairs nicely with the C Topper from Strange Bedfellas, which offers a fantasy and texture to grind against along with a tapered tip to focus the vibrations. The Z Topper from Strange Bedfellas has nice texture, but doesn’t necessarily pair well with the wand for my needs. (The tapered tip of their O Topper has a prominent tapered tip and would probably be a better choice for those who need focused stimulation like me.)
Would I get another wand? Probably not since they’re not the best fit for my body. But I’m glad I tried one to get a feel for what they’re like, and glad I got the combination of strength and silence that I was aiming for in this one.
The Sex Shed Website
Dame Com from The Sex Shed
Dame Website
Strange Bedfellas Website
Wand Toppers Page
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